Would love some feed back...........

Background: He came home a few weeks before his 2nd bday, and could not take but 2-3 steps on solid ground. He could run on the bed mattress, and obviously was left in his crib 24 hrs a day, hence the reason he could walk so steadily on a soft surface (other facts point to the 24/hr crib thing, but that's another post). 

So.

I've been noticing how bowed his ankles and feet are.....(and he walks with a "different" gait as well..again, could just be from the way he learned to walk??? or something else?.)

Headed to the Dr soon....appt is made....but any thoughts? We pay a lot of attention to feet here, Ashley has a teathered spinal cord due to spina bifida, so I watch hers for bowing consistently.....and his are much worse than hers! When he walks, it actually gets worse, not better. 

Why am I surprised he sounds Chinese???

It needs to be said:
a. He came in with that sock on his hand, obviously his "oven mit
b. He said, "mama! Pepperoni pizza!" how does that ROCK for imagination?!?!
c. He told me it had cheese, pepperoni and was "berrrrrry hot"

I LOVE THIS KID.

THE END.

Big Boy Haircut

So someone got a "big boy" haircut last week....

And it may have made him look just a tad older.....

Which may or may not make this mama very happy.....

because "three and half" can't really seem possible..........

Asher, you can stop growing now, thankyouverymuch.

Who ever knew we'd have neck ties, converse, and big boy haircuts in this house full of little girls....

Psalm 40:5

"O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. You have no equal. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them."

(for those of you over at Ni Hao Yall that are interested, settings:  Nikon D90, 50mm lens, f/1.8, ISO 200) (and woot! that I know what all that means :) learning:)

The Other Mama

My (almost) 5 year old daughter has just begun to ask some very thought provoking questions surrounding her birth mother lately. She's my thinking child, so although this doesn't surprise me, I must admit some of the questions.....ohh.my.....let's just say I'm thankful they have come mostly at night in her bed, with the lights off...so she can't the tears that roll down my cheeks. We're entering a whole new chapter in this adoptive parenting journey...and begging for the wisdom and revelation from the Lord to help us wade and part these waters.

And at the same time, I'm often in awe of how the Lord has been preparing us for these moments, long before Ashley came home. I've mentioned before that I worked in the domestic side of adoption for a few years before transitioning over to the international. Over those years, I worked with birth mothers. And you better believe I took mental notes and had dozens of "light bulb, heart pounding, Holy Spirit" moments with these women. Some of them I knew for months and others I met literally in the delivery room or the day after.
But one thing I knew about each one of them....as hard as they tried to hide it, or as openly as they grieved, was that this was a gut.wrenching.process, and one that they would never, ever forget.

One day the Lord gave me this verse:

Isaiah 49:15

"Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!

The very God of the universe in His Word, gave an answer to our children...."did she forget me?"

Can you see it? "even if that were possible...." which means....it's NOT. And even if it were...HE WOULD NOT!!!

Meet little miss "A." She's just a week new y'all and has the most perfect baby skin I've ever seen!!!

Her mama, "M" called me from our church's Crisis Pregnancy Center a few years back. She was pregnant was interested in adoption. We began meeting and a few months later, a baby girl was born. I watched her mama do the most courageous thing a woman can do....hand her child over to another mama and daddy to love and raise as their child. And as I watched her grieve, I prayed deep for the woman that had left my baby girl at the orphanage gate, for someone else to raise. It's as if the Lord just allowed me a glimpse of her grief through these women in my care.

A year later, she called back. Pregnant again. And choosing life for her child, a few months later I stood in the L&D hallway yelling for them to run FAST because their son was about to be born. And she did it again, this time knowing full well the grief to come. Don't miss that this girl had made some very poor choices, but she had made the most important one for her children....LIFE. 

This time around, she's ready to be a mama. Her and her family will raise baby A and get to experience all she hasn't gotten to with her other children. And rest assured, she has not forgotten them....their pictures hang on her walls....and as I left her house, I wondered if Ashley's birth parents had photos of her....she wasn't abandoned as a newborn....I'd never wondered that before. 

And when questions come, that I don't have answers too, I go to the Word. That tells me that it is impossible for a mother to forget her child. And it drives me to pray deep for the two women, that will never know this side of heaven, how the Lord had His eyes on these babies, and how He placed them where they are loved and treasured.

Oh how I wish I could send you pictures. For your walls.

 Just so you would know. 

Thanks for the reminder, M.....you are one of the bravest women I've ever met, sister. 

Mama/Kid beach trip 2012!!

*Had a blast last week at Jekyll, Island, GA with my bf and all our kids! (the 8 crazy ones from the post below!)     

We found sand dollars..

 laughed.......

 Said, "PUT THE STICK DOWN!!!!" 2,547 times.......

 Dug in the sand with sisters.......

 At a few sleeves of Oreos.....

 Played in the  beautiful driftwood....

And we made precious memories.....

1 Samuel 20:42

 ⁴² Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace! The two of us have vowed friendship in God's name, saying, 'God will be the bond between me and you, and between my children and your children forever!'"

first pic photo credit: K&R Photography.net

last pic photo credit: some random guy on the beach

In case you're on a lonely road.....

This post is for you.


The mama who's seemingly walking this road of adoption alone.

The Lord has called your family to do this crazy, crazy thing....and people just don't get it.

You announce you're adopting and you get blank stares....and maybe a "wow....umm...that's so good!"

You bring your updated pictures of the child you're dying to hold to show people and they barely take a second glance. They ask how you can be so emotionally tied to a child you've never seen or touched.

Maybe you don't live in a big city, with lots of adoption "playgroups" and fellowships and support. Yet the calling is the same, and you are moving forward in obedience nonetheless.

People make remarks and comments that are hurtful and leave you in the bathroom in tears.

All your adoption friends are from RQ (don't play, you know it's true!!!!!!! ).


There's no need for an "airport shirt" because there's not an airport party happening.

People see a big happy family, when the reality is your child is screaming her brains out several hours of the day.

If this is you, I'd bet at this point you're in tears already. We've been home from our first trip for 3.5 years now, and I'm crying with you, sister.

I'd love to encourage you.

*The Lord is near to you......He wants to be your stronghold. He loves that child more than you do. He saw her face when He formed her and He longs for her to be in your arms. He's working even when you don't feel it. He is "a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Prov. 18:24). And maybe, He's using this hard season to teach you to lean on HIM. And Him alone. He's gently whispering, "this is the way, walk in it.." (Isaiah 30:21).  Embrace this season, as hard as it is. You will learn more about His comfort and dependence on His Word than you ever have in your life. You will be stronger for it, and know Him in a deeper way than if you had walked a different road, I can assure you. I know it's painful, and I know it doesn't seem fair. And if I'm honest, my flesh wants to agree. It's not fair. But it's where the Lord has you, and if you'll fight the flesh to be bitter and angry, and allow the Lord to hold your heart and keep you tender, He will do an amazing work in you.

*You are NOT alone....if you have to make connections through RQ, MAKE THEM :)

You'll find friends like Lara, and Leslie, Jenn, Tonya, and Petrie.  These women held my hand through the computer screen for over a year and many I have never met in person. They cried when we got our LOA after 126 blasted days and became my cheer squad when the Lord called us back a second time. I recently met Naomi, a friend whom I had emailed back and forth a LOT back then....we saw each other for the first time a few weeks ago at an adoption retreat, and the first thing she said was, "I was in China when you got your LOA! I cried tears of JOY!" And I had never spoken to or met her face to face before two weeks ago. The Lord may not give you people around you physically, but He will provide you a support if you'll reach out to the adoption community!

*The Lord never, ever wastes an experience. EVER. He just may be preparing you to walk someone else down this road. So that she doesn't have to do it without a friend. So that the mama's after you, can cry and vent and you can hold their hand and point them towards Him. I recently went to the beach with my best friend and alllll our crazy kids. Her family is adopting from Ethiopia. When we were taking beach pictures, she (in the craziness that is beach pictures with 8 kids) turned slightly to me, and we locked eyes and she  said, "something for Lily?"

And instantly, my heart physically felt a pain. That pain of, "this family picture just isn't complete...we need to do something." So we did. And we moved on to the next set of shots. But I got it. (we didn't do Christmas cards in 2008 because it was just way too painful...)

And y'all sometimes, the Lord walks us through things, just so we can walk another through it. Our pain and hurt has a purpose.

2 Corinthians 1:4

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

So hang in there....stay the course. Embrace the hard, lonely season, and know that the Lord has a plan and His plan is always, always, always for our good. Live your life obediently before the Lord, and He will bless and prosper you, and HE will be your strong hold. And get ready for the good......it will rise as sure as the dawn!!

{waiting to hold hands with Lily}

*If you are walking this and resonate with this post, can you comment so I can pray with you? It would be an honor.

SO LOVED

 For God SO LOVED the world....

 that He gave His one and only Son.....

 that whosoever believed in Him, would not perish but have ETERNAL life!! John 3:16

Ashley Mei...you are SO.LOVED.

SO SO LOVED

LOVE this shirt?! 100% of the proceeds go to fund heart surgeries for Chinese orphans. Want one?? Click here:

http://store.wildolivetees.com/so-loved-p324.aspx